All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
by justgivingmytwoshekel'sworth
Summary: Hachiman seems to be having problems in his school! However, together with two other individuals (who shall not be revealed lest it spoils the plot), he was able to solve them completely.


"Hello class today we will have our regular "beating up hachiman and pissing into his rectum" session for the first period. HIKIGAY GET THE FUCK HERE."

Hachiman was marched up the classroom, where he was niggered all over his body by his classmates.

End of the day.

Hachiman returned home to beat up and rape the fuck out of Komachi. "Fucckkkk i hate school these bullies are fucking shtistains i just want to shoot them all up and burn their body into ashes then eat their ashes by chewing on it and grinding my teeth until my mouth catches fire fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck."

Then suddenly a bright idea popped up.

"Komachi, get ur bleeding anus off the ground and call the NRA."

"Hello, this is NRA. What do you want?"

"I'll have two tec-nines, a tech-nine large, an M16 with extra clip, an AK-47, two mack 11s, one with suppressor, and a large chainsaw."

"Say no more."

The next day Hachiman got all the weapons he ordered. He put them all in a trench coat.

Then Hachiman walked to school.

First period.

"Okay class today is our daily ritual in fucking up Hachifaggot's day and make his life a living hell..."

Bang!

Hachiman suddenly whipped out his AK-47 and blew the teacher's head off. She died immediately. Praise kek!

His classmates began screaming and shouting and letting everything out.

"Taste the spaghetti, you will never forgetti!" Hachiman laugh maniacally as he started spraying bullets everywhere. Hayama dropped dead immediately. Yui managed to escape but all the others are killed.

Hachiman looked at Totsuka's dead body. "I need to get something from him to remember by."

So Hachiman castrated Totsuka with a swift karate chop. He hung his balls around his neck, attaching it to a gothic necklace chain.

"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks blowing dumb fucks quick, oh oh oh oh oh."

Hachiman freestyled his way down the corridor as he started looking for the next victim.

Just then, he spotted a classroom full of students. They were huddled in one corner. The only problem is, the door can only be opened by a little, as there is a safety mechanism activated.

So Hachiman tossed a grenade through the gap.

He smiled as everyone screamed before the grenade blew up, killing everyone.

"Today is a good day!"

Just then, Zaimokuza tumbled across the hallway.

"Waooooooiiiiiiishooooooooo Hachiman what shenanigans are you up to."

Hachiman was unsure whether or not Zaimocuck is on his side.

So he asked, "What do you think of communism?"

"I think commies should be thrown off the top of Molyneux's drug den in the himalayas."

"say no more."

Hachiman reached into his bag and took out a chainsaw.

"Since you are fat and can take much damage, u should be involved in melee attack."

Just then, a student from another class spotted Hachiman. She screamed and tried to turn back and run.

But Zaimokuza caught up with her and sliced her into two.

Even Hachiman was impressed. "Shit Zaimokuza you got talent!"

"The name's Zaimokuza the Katana Doomslayer. Fu fu fu."

Just then, principal Tsubanihonto (who is actually El Chapo) appeared with an RPG strapped across his back.

"Hachicunt, if you want to be edgy, at least don't do it in my hood."

Fuck that! Hachiman responded with a bullet through the principal's head.

"Shietzz we ain't kill a lot of people. Where do you think many people can be found?"

"Yo Hachiman, remember this is finals period? Most of the students should be in the library."

So they went there.

"Everybody hands in the air!"

"argghhhhh"

"Yikes the kikes are back"

Students who were dumbasses began to crawl and hide under tables instead of making a run out of the place.

Hachiman gave them a visit one by one.

The first person he met was Yui.

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaa! Bitch! Not feeling so smart now huh?" He said as he emptied his nines into Yui's busts."

"Oh look, a nigger turd." Zaimokuza remarked as he beheaded an aspiring rapper with his chainsaw

"Now who wants to taste bullet?"

"Me."

Who?

"Me."

Hachiman turned around. It was Ghengis Khan!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh what the fuck are you doing here you better leave me alone and not ruin my plan.

"No."

"You better do!"

"No. I wanted to join forces with you."

naniiiiiii?

"Hand me the gun."

Hachiman gave the mack 11 to Ghengis Khan hesitantly. Then Ghengis Khan went batshit insane and started spreaying bullets everywhere.

"Watch how the true warrior does it!" Ghengis Khan roared as he shot bullets through the tables, leaving not a single survivor.

"Awesome!" The newly formed bff trio high fived together as they witnessed their accomplishments.

Later that day, Hachiman was tried and convicted for genocide. He was intended to be put to death.

His execution is broadcasted on the news.

"Hear we have the most vile human being alive ready for execution. He will be given the guillotine treatment shortly after the segment. Any last word, you vile, inexcusable piece of shit?"

"Bwa haha haahhahhjhahh! Y'all niggas get fooled!" Hachiman laughed and laughed and kept on laughing until the executioner almost wanted to pull the rope. However, he should probably have done so.

The next moment, Hachiman opened up his shirt and reveals a cord.

Everyone froze in terror.

"Allahu Akbar!" Hachiman shouted the peaceful slogan as he detonated himself and killed everyone present.

The TV screen went black. Yukino, who was huddled in front of it with a thermometer in her mouth, leaned back on the couch.

"Good thing I could not come to school today!"


End file.
